It's not often the stable gate team are brought to tears, but this week's breaking story has had the team in a rather sympathetic state. Yet another horse owner has been brought to their knees in tears as their horse destroys a brand-new ‘indestructible’ rug for the fifth week in a row.
Welcome to our equestrian news segment, where we bring you the latest from the world of hooves and heartbreak.
The latest incident unfolded at Willowbrook Stables, where Sally Stewart found herself once again clutching the shredded remains of what was supposed to be an indestructible rug. The rug, touted as the pinnacle of equine apparel, met its untimely demise within mere hours of being placed on Maximus, a 16.2hh thoroughbred.
“Honestly, I thought this one would be different,” Sally lamented, tears streaming down her cheeks. “They promised it was indestructible. I even paid extra for the ‘rip-proof’ guarantee.”
Maximus, a cheeky gelding with a reputation for being a bit of a troublemaker, appeared unfazed by the chaos he'd caused. Witnesses at the stable couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight of the horse prancing around, seemingly proud of his handiwork.
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The so-called ‘indestructible’ rug was manufactured by Titanium Equine, a company that prides itself on producing durable horse gear. “Our rugs are designed to withstand the toughest conditions,” claimed Titanium Equine spokesperson Tom Thompson. “We’ve never seen anything like Maximus before. It’s as if he has a personal vendetta against our products.”
Despite the seemingly endless cycle of destruction, Sally refuses to give up on finding a solution. “I love Maximus to bits,” she said, wiping her eyes. “I just wish he’d stop costing me a fortune in rugs. Maybe I should just start drinking more.”
Social media users were quick to weigh in on the saga. “Maximus the Destroyer strikes again! #RugWrecker,” tweeted @HorseHilarity. Others were more sympathetic to Sally’s plight. “Hang in there, Sally! Maybe the sixth rug will be the charm. #HorseOwnerStruggles,” wrote @StableSupporter.
Equestrian psychologist Dr. Felicity Brown offered some insight into Maximus’s behavior. “Horses, like people, can have quirky habits,” she explained. “Maximus might be reacting to something in his environment, or perhaps he simply enjoys the texture of the rugs. It’s important for owners to understand and address the underlying causes of such behaviours while also accepting that sometimes horses are... well... dickheads"
Sally, ever the determined horse owner, has vowed to get to the bottom of Maximus’s antics. “I’m going to find a rug that he can’t destroy,” she declared. “Or at least one that can last longer than a week or maybe he'll just have to be cold?”
Meanwhile, Maximus continues to enjoy his daily antics, blissfully unaware of the turmoil he’s causing. “He’s a lovable rogue,” said stable manager Harry Harris. “We’ve never had a horse quite like him. He keeps us all on our toes. And he keeps Sally piss poor and in need of a wine or 7, that's for sure."
As the search for the elusive indestructible rug continues, the equestrian community watches with bated breath. Will Sally finally find a rug that can withstand Maximus’s relentless assault? Or will the cheeky gelding remain undefeated in his quest to shred every piece of fabric that comes his way?
Only time will tell. In the meantime, Sally is stocking up on tissues and considering a subscription to an alcoholic "Friday night fun box". “At least I’ll have a new hobby,” she joked.
Stay tuned for more updates on this ongoing saga in our equestrian news segment. Until then, may your rugs be sturdy, and your horses be gentle.
