In a shocking twist of events that has rocked the equestrian community, a devoted rider has filed for divorce after her husband committed the ultimate act of betrayal: selling her beloved collection of matchy-matchy saddle pads.
In the world of equestrianism, there are a few sacred things: the bond between horse and rider, the intoxicating scent of fresh hay, and, of course, the perfectly coordinated ensemble of saddle pads, leg wraps and fly veils to match the rider’s clothing. For those not in the know, these colour-coordinated masterpieces are not just accessories; they are an equestrian's pride and joy, a symbol of their meticulous attention to detail and sartorial excellence.
Enter our protagonist, Jane Doe, an avid equestrian whose love for matchy-matchy saddle pads knew no bounds. Her husband (and now ex-husband), didn’t quite grasp the gravity of the situation when he decided to clear out some "clutter" from the tack room. In a moment of sheer madness, he sold Jane's painstakingly curated collection of saddle pads at a garage sale for a measly fifty bucks. Fifty. Bucks.
The moment Jane discovered the atrocity, her world came crashing down. "It was like he'd sold my soul," Jane lamented, holding back tears while clutching the lone surviving saddle pad – a limited edition Equestrian Stockholm masterpiece that narrowly escaped the garage sale massacre. "He could have sold the car, the house, even the dog, and I wouldn't have cared as much!"
In a desperate attempt to explain his actions, Jane's husband, John (clearly now banished to the growing pile of failed husbands), said, "I thought they were just old cloths. I didn't realise they were... important." This statement, now etched in the hall of fame for clueless spouses, was the final nail in the coffin.
The divorce proceedings were swift. Jane's lawyer, also an equestrian, immediately saw the severity of the situation. "This is a clear case of irreconcilable differences," she stated, adding that John's complete disregard for the sanctity of the matchy-matchy collection was grounds for immediate separation. The judge, an old cowboy himself, nodded in understanding and swiftly granted the divorce.
As the news spread, the equestrian community rallied around Jane. An online fundraiser was set up to help her rebuild her collection, with donations pouring in from riders far and wide. Saddle pad manufacturers even reached out, offering custom designs and exclusive collections to help with the huge loss.
John, on the other hand, has been shunned. He now lives in a small apartment with minimal furniture and, reportedly, no colour-coordinated anything. He was last seen trying to understand the difference between a dressage saddle and a jumping saddle, a task that, like his marriage, seems hopeless.
In conclusion, let this be a lesson to all: never underestimate the importance of a rider's matchy-matchy collection.
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*The Fair Weather Rider is not a qualified agony aunt, life coach, therapist or psychologist. The Fair Weather Rider is not a replacement for any of the above professionals. The Fair Weather Rider is however a replacement for the nosey cows on livery yards who offer unsolicited and unqualified advice. Should you be missing this and want even more noses in your business, feel free to write in to info@thefairweatherrider.com.
